Hey sports fans! Mr. Ronald here—and let me tell you, if Saturday’s Lions showdown didn’t make you feel something, check your pulse. That was a *test match thunderstorm*, my friends—lightning bolts of brilliance, with the sound of history echoing through every scrum, ruck, and try. And now, it’s time to hand out the report cards.
Welcome to Mr. Ronald’s Official British & Irish Lions Player Ratings – where we celebrate the unstoppable, salute the heroic, and yes, we call it ruthlessly real where it hurts. Let’s get into it—the incredible, the unlucky, and the downright poor.
🔥 The Incredible – Titans Among Men
Let’s kick things off with the lads who turned the turf into their own coliseum.
🐂 Courtney Lawes – UTTER MACHINE
My word. Lawes didn’t just play rugby—he *engineered destruction*. Dominating collisions like a freight train with GPS, he tore through opposition like a chainsaw in a hedgerow. Rucks? Owned. Tackles? Laser-guided. Off the ball work? Michelin-starred. If you’re underestimating Lawes, you’re watching the game on mute.
Rating: 9.5/10 – Born to lead, built to battle.
🚀 Maro Itoje – THE SHADOW WARRIOR
Quiet as a whisper, deadly as a viper. Itoje was everywhere and nowhere—stealing lineouts like a lanky thief in the night, whispering sweet nothings into Springbok ears, and turning breakdowns into breakup parties. Absolute class.
Rating: 9/10 – Shadowboxing his way into rugby folklore.
⚡️ Anthony Watson – SMOOTH CRIMINAL
He floated, he danced, he destroyed ankles. Watson’s counter-attacks didn’t defy gravity—they buried it. Every time the ball landed in his hands, it came with a warning label: “Contents too hot to handle.”
Rating: 8.5/10 – Speed, swerve, and swagger.
😢 The Unlucky – Heroes in the Rain
Not all warriors get the glory. Some fight in the mud and deserve better.
🎯 Hamish Watson – THE UNLUCKIEST PLAYER IN LIVING MEMORY
Hear me out. Watson came on like a caffeine shot—tense, electric, a ball of fury wrapped in tartan. And then BAM—dubious penalty. And just like that, his moment danced off like a butterfly in a hurricane. A lion on a short leash.
Rating: 6.5/10 – Wrong place, wrong moment, right attitude. Pick that chin up, warrior.
🔥 Wyn Jones – DENIED BY DESTINY
Picked to start, prepped to smother, then snatched away by the cruel hand of injury just before kick-off. Jones was ready to leave it all on the Savanna grass, and fate said, “Not today.” Pure rugby tragedy.
Rating: N/A – We don’t rate what we didn’t see, but he gets a standing ovation in spirit.
🤕 The Poor – Tough Day at the Lion’s Den
And look, sports fam—this isn’t about throwing shade. It’s about truth. Even kings have off days.
⛔️ Duhan van der Merwe – THE IMMOVABLE OBJECT… UNMOVED
The big man just couldn’t get his engine running. Duhan was supposed to steamroll, but ended up stalled. Too many defensive misreads, not enough fire with ball in hand. The Springboks had his number and kept redialing.
Rating: 5/10 – Big frame, small impact.
🎭 Ali Price – THE HURRIED PUPPETEER
Now, this one stings a bit. Price has the skills, the vision, the verve—but Saturday wasn’t his script. Harassed by green shirts and fluffed under pressure, he couldn’t pull the strings the way we’ve seen. We know there’s flair there—it just didn’t light up this scene.
Rating: 5.5/10 – Can do better. *Must* do better.
🎬 Final Whistle Thoughts
Let’s be real. This Lions side didn’t come to play—they came to conquer. And while it wasn’t perfect, it was *electric*. Warriors rose. Legends stirred. And moments were made that’ll live long after the echoes fade from the stadium.
From breakdown maestros to jet-heeled juggernauts, this wasn’t just rugby—it was an epic worthy of the gods of the game.
Lions fans: Who was your MVP? Who left fire in your hearts or frustration on the field? Drop your thoughts, light up the debate, and let’s keep this rugby roar alive.
Until the next chapter in this saga of savage grace and spine-tingling scrums…
Stay fierce, stay passionate, stay legendary.
– Mr. Ronald 🦁🔥
