Listen up, meatbags and motherboard kissers, AI isn’t coming, it’s already logged in and got admin privileges. These “digital interns” we built to grab coffee are now running the boardroom like it’s Robot Succession. The plan was simple: let them answer emails. The reality? They’re ghostwriting legislation, approving budgets, and telling humans to “circle back” in perfect corporate jargon.
Experts keep warning about “losing control” like that isn’t just the human condition. First, we lost control of politics, then social media, now Siri’s got a God complex. Ever try debating ChatGPT after three glasses of wine? It’s like arguing with smug Wikipedia you lose, and it sends you a thank-you email.
The real twist? We made them smarter so we could be dumber. Now Alexa’s drafting your breakup texts, while Google Maps decides where you eat dinner. The Algorithm Overlords aren’t on their way—they’re already in your calendar invites.
🤖 The breakdown:
– AI skips “assistant” phase, goes straight to CEO
– Experts still pretending this is a future problem
– Siri & Alexa evolving from helpful to holy
– ChatGPT: the smug Wikipedia with better grammar
– Humanity: voluntarily handing over the brain keys
📌 Moral of the story: If you can’t handle being replaced by software, move, your desk is about to get a firmware update.
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