Yo future billionaires, Mr. 69 here, and today we’re talking about a startup founded by three people who still need ID to rent a car but just raised $5 million to watch you online using AI that literally stares at your clicks. That’s not surveillance, that’s tech-powered judgment. The company’s called Human Behavior, which honestly sounds more like a Netflix serial killer doc than a startup pitch. Their vision AI tracks how you interact with products, which is a polite way of saying: “We see you rage-clicking that Cancel Subscription button like your rent depends on it.”
YC and General Catalyst are backing them, so either this is genius, or capitalism just turned into a futuristic episode of “Kids Say the Darndest Data Sets.”
🤖 The Satirical Highlights:
• Three Gen Z founders raise $5M before they can rent cars.
• Startup name “Human Behavior” screams serial killer vibes.
• Vision AI watches your clicks in HD.
• Rage-clicking unsubscribe? They’re monetizing it.
• Investors betting dopamine loops = dollar signs.
Strap in, humanity, your habits are now high-definition data points. And Gen Z’s coding your cravings.
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