Listen up, darlings—Ms. Rizzlerina is here to spill the tea and sprinkle a little glitter on a saga so unexpected, so thunderously off-beat, you’d swear it came straight from the WWE scriptwriters’ secret vault.
Yes, honeys, we’re doing a deep dive—and I mean DEEP—into a side of wrestling legend Hulk Hogan that’s more shocking than a steel chair to the back. Buckle up your boas and tighten those bandanas, because we’re talking Hulkamania… on the mic. As in: music mic. 🎤✨
Now, before we say our fabulous farewell to the Hulkster—yes, my sweet goss-lovers, he’s hanging up his boots in more ways than one—we simply must turn up the volume on the most bizarre, baffling, and bedazzled chapter of his legacy: Hulk Hogan’s musical career. And baby, it’s a head-banging, eyebrow-raising ride from power chords to power slams.
Let’s set the scene: the year was 1995. Pop was poppin’, grunge was groovin’, and in struts Hogan—golden mustache glistening, shirt already dramatically torn—ready to conquer the charts with the same gusto he used to body slam Andre the Giant. He dropped an album called Hulk Rules. Yes, that is not a typo. HULK. RULES. Released under the name Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band (be still, my campy heart), it was everything you’d expect… and yet, nothing you were ready for.
Think motivational wrestling anthems, awkwardly earnest ballads, and more gravelly spoken word than even your Aunt Karen’s karaoke night. Tracks like “I Wanna Be a Hulkamaniac” didn’t just blur the lines between genres—they bodyslammed them into oblivion. It was part rock concert, part children’s PSA, and 100% pure chaos.
And the lyrics, darling? A dazzling cocktail of life advice and flexed-up inspirational nonsense. One golden nugget warned little Hulkamaniacs to train, say their prayers, and eat their vitamins—before launching into a pastel-colored fever dream of synth beats and vocal pep talks. Iconic? In the weirdest, most wonderfully unhinged way.
But let me be crystal clear, kittens: this wasn’t some avant-garde musical gem waiting for retrospective praise. Oh no—critics gave Hulk’s album a leg drop straight to the bargain bin. And yet, like a bedazzled phoenix rising from a pile of vinyl wreckage, the songs lived on in internet lore… meme-fied masterpieces, worthy of reaction GIFs and TikTok remixes. Honestly, am I surprised? Not one shimmer—because if TikTok loves anything, it’s a nostalgic trainwreck with a six-pack.
And although the album flopped harder than a botched moonsault, our dear Hulk never backed down. He stayed booked and busy: reality shows, endorsement deals, and enough drama to fuel a thousand tabloids. But now, with the final curtain call looming over the ever-flashy entrance ramp of life, we look back and can’t help but salute the sheer, unapologetic absurdity of it all.
So my glammed-up gossip gang, let’s raise a sparkly toast not just to a man who defined an era of wrestling, but to the icon brave enough to rhyme “Hulkamaniac” with… well, anything. Hulk Hogan’s music career may have defied logic, taste, and genre—but baby, it never lacked flair.
RIP to the Hulkster—not just the wrestler, not just the reality TV king, but the music maverick who proved anyone can chase a dream… even if it sounds like a guitar got in a cage match with a motivational poster.
Stay fabulous, and let the gossip roll!
Ms. Rizzlerina 💋
