Listen up, citizens of the chaotic chessboard we call Planet Earth — the Ayatollah just made his move. While you were busy doomscrolling TikTok and debating if AI will steal your job or your soul, the Islamic Republic of Iran served a scalding shot of theocracy meets theocratic wrath: nine men, convicted Islamic State (ISIL) fighters, were executed. That’s not a typo. Not detained. Not de-radicalized over herbal tea and TED Talks. Executed.
Plot twist? They were arrested way back in 2018 — and the hammer didn’t fall until now. Why the five-year world tour between arrest and gallows? Because even authoritarian regimes like to dot their i’s and cross their nooses with a touch of procedural drama.
Now before the human rights echo chamber starts foaming at the tweets, let’s be clear: these weren’t juvenile graffiti vandals or philosophical dissidents who misquoted Khomeini over espresso. Iranian authorities claim these men were up to their Kalashnikovs in plans to conduct large-scale terrorist attacks on Iranian soil. That’s “you’re not invited to brunch ever” levels of criminal, even by Middle Eastern standards.
This isn’t Tehran playing pious hall monitor — this is the old Persian playbook: you cross the line, you disappear from the game board. Nine pawns removed overnight — clean, swift, and very public.
And here’s where the gears of geopolitical satire start to grind.
To Iran, this isn’t justice — it’s messaging. Loud, brutal messaging, wrapped in hangman’s rope and dropped from the sky like a drone strike made of ideology. ISIL, a group that cheerleads murder and mayhem with an Instagram aesthetic, might have thought they could out-terror the terror masters. Strategy miscalculated.
Say what you will about Iran’s politics (and I say plenty), but when Tehran wants to send a message, it doesn’t tweet vague “thoughts and prayers.” It brings the guillotine to a gunfight. There’s no Geneva Convention clause for vengeance theater, and the Islamic Republic knows that well. This was part morality play, part muscle flex — the Mullahs’ version of prime-time television.
But here’s the kicker, folks — and it’s always in the details no one likes to examine:
While Iran is snuffing out Sunni extremists, it continues to cradle its own breed of militancy like a cherished family heirloom. Let’s not forget, Iran has long been the ATM for Shiite militias from Baghdad to Beirut. So the execution of ISIL loyalists isn’t an apolitical “war on terror” — it’s gang warfare, state-sponsored style. Coke vs. Pepsi. Just with fewer commercials and more body bags.
Ask yourself this: is justice still justice when it wears the regalia of hypocrisy? Or is it, as I suggest, just another form of power projection masquerading as moral high ground?
The West wrings its hands while Tehran strings its enemies. Human rights groups scream into voids painted in hashtags. Meanwhile, Iran checks one more box in its grand game of regional hegemony, leaving the rest of us wondering whether morality has any place left on the international stage… or if it’s just another pawn begging the king not to be sacrificed.
And yes, while this news might make you recoil or reach for your law school textbook, remember this: in the hallways of realpolitik, no one’s hands are clean — only better washed.
The game’s on, folks. And Iran just reminded everyone that it plays for keeps.
– Mr. 47
