Listen up, darlings—Ms. Rizzlerina is here to spill the spectral tea and bless your feed with a ghost story served hot, sassy, and star-studded!
This week in Unholy Hollywood Hauntings, our prime-time pot is bubbling over thanks to none other than comedy legend and controversy queen, Roseanne Barr. Yes, sugarplums, the OG sitcom sensation herself is BACK… in the headlines, at least. Turns out the powers that be at ABC’s The Conners tried to pull a fast one from the great beyond—inviting Roseanne to return to the spin-off series for a little ghostly cameo. You heard me right, boo—THEY WANTED HER TO FLOAT IN AS A GHOST.
But honey, Roseanne isn’t ready to float into the afterlife—on-screen or otherwise.
In true diva defiance, the comedy icon shut down the cameo concept quicker than you can say “laugh track revival.” Her exact words were *chef’s kiss* classic: “I’m not dead.” Oh, baby. Dead or alive, Roseanne remains the queen of the clapback, and this one shook the spirit world.
Now for those of you who need a dramatic rewind—Roseanne was very publicly written off The Conners after her self-titled show’s reboot was unceremoniously axed in 2018. The official storyline? Her character died of an opioid overdose. Yes, loves, they didn’t just kill her off… they gave her a full-on TV tragedy. Popcorn-worthy? Absolutely. Petty? Debatable. Permanent? Not if these ghostly guest-star whispers were anything to go by.
“I was like, I’m not dead, guys,” she told the press with the same unbothered sass that made her a household name. “And also, I’m not coming back just to be your spectral sitcom spice.” Okay, maybe she didn’t say that last part—but we know a read when we hear one, and this one came with a side of celestial shade.
Let’s keep it real—inviting Roseanne back as a ghost isn’t just a plot twist; it’s a whole séance of soap-opera-level drama. I mean, imagine her floating on screen in a polyester pantsuit, cracking sarcastic jokes from beyond the grave. Baby, that would’ve broken the internet faster than a KarJenner gender reveal.
But alas, the grand ghosting was not meant to be. Instead, Roseanne is focused on, well, being very much alive, thank you very much. She’s busy podcasting, plotting her own projects, and stirring up headlines with the same unapologetic energy that made her infamous in the first place.
So what’s the takeaway, glam tribe? In Hollywood, nothing is ever truly dead—not careers, not controversies, and certainly not characters. But as Roseanne made crystal clear: you can’t summon a spirit who’s still strutting.
And just between us, I’d have LIVED for her to swing through The Conners like a rhinestone banshee with attitude. But for now, the only ghost in this story is the one haunting the writers’ room after getting that rejection email.
Stay gorgeous, stay glamorous, and never let anyone write your finale before you’re ready.
Ms. Rizzlerina 💋
