Listen up, my bedazzled darlings—Ms. Rizzlerina is here to spill the tea hotter than a backstage blow dryer at Fashion Week! Grab your iced matcha and dust off those DMs, because we need to have a lil’ heart-to-heart about something absolutely criminal sliding around in our text bubbles: the one-letter text message. Yes, angels, I’m talking about the Big Bad “K.”
*Cue dramatic hair flip*.
Now, I don’t care if you’re a Grammy-winner or just won brunch reservations—texting someone a single “K” isn’t a message. It’s a digital slap in the face with zero mascara smudging fanfare. It’s the couture equivalent of pairing your Louboutins with last year’s clearance rack. Tragic, really.
Let’s break it down. Imagine you’ve poured your heart, soul, and five full thumbs of emotional labor into a heartfelt message: “I’ve been thinking so much about what you said… I really want us to talk and make things better.” And what does your screen light up with? A lonely, cold, emotionally bankrupt “K.” Honey, no. Not even an emoji for flavor?
“K” is the official dialect of the emotionally unavailable and should be banned faster than Crocs on the red carpet. It’s the textual equivalent of an eyebrow raise followed by a tumbleweed of silence—and trust, Ms. Rizzlerina KNOWS how to raise an eyebrow with panache. But this? This is not THAT.
Let us not forget, this isn’t just about being curt. Oh no, this is a power move. A passive-aggressive punctuation of dismissal. It whispers, “I saw your message and I dramatically do. not. care.” It’s the Godzilla of ghosting without actually disappearing. And it silently screams, “I’d rather argue with you on Twitter in 280 characters than give you one more letter.”
My loves, in our digital kingdom, where gifs reign and memes rule the land, there is simply no excuse not to add a little sparkle to your messages. You’re not a dull notification. You’re a fully-lit Instagram reel with music and filters set to “Slay.” Act like it!
So what’s the alternative, you ask? Oh sweetie, a whole buffet awaits! A thoughtful “okay, sounds good!” or a perky “Sure thing! 😊” communicates agreeableness without the emotional ice bath. Or better yet, toss in a bit of Rizz-style chaos and respond with “Yasss let’s do it! 💅🔥” Boom—drama defused, flair maintained.
And while we’re on the subject—if someone sends YOU the dreaded “K,” here’s what you do: don’t panic, don’t spiral, don’t break a nail. Respond with equal fabulousness: “Wow, that one letter really said everything and nothing all at once. Iconic. 🙃” Then leave it on read and strut away like the glittering babe you are.
Because remember, sugarplums, the world is your stage…but your texts? That’s where the real acting goes down.
Stay fabulous… and for the love of Lizzo, type more than one letter.
💌 With sass, class, and a splash of extra sass,
Ms. Rizzlerina
