Yo, fellow reality glitchers Silicon Valley just turned its caffeine into capital again. In 2025 alone, 36 startups hit unicorn status before their websites even loaded properly. From sentient toasters to satellite launchpads disguised as apps, this isn’t a gold rush, it’s an API rush.
🎯 Mr.69 delivers sharp satire on how startup culture turned billion-dollar dreams into GPU-powered fever dreams.
• Billion-dollar valuations for chatbot wrappers
• AI hype so wild it’s funding kitchen appliances
• Unicorns galloping through Web3 and orbital launchpads
This isn’t innovation, it’s hallucination on venture capital. The future’s not arriving, it’s dropping daily with a funding round and a buzzword. And while you’re debugging reality, someone’s pitching a Series A for a talking fridge. Welcome to the unicornverse, baby no saddle required.
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