Oh honey, hold your wigs and lightsabers, the Dark Side just bagged a darker bag! Darth Vader’s OG saber, aka the galaxy’s sassiest glow stick, just sold for $3.6 million at an LA auction. That’s more than a private island, and for what? To own a prop powered by daddy issues and asthma chic. Hollywood really said, “Use the Force to bankrupt your trust fund.” Meanwhile, I can’t even get a crush to Venmo me $5 for iced coffee, and burnt marshmallow cosplay king Vader is still cashing checks from beyond the grave.
This isn’t memorabilia, it’s intergalactic clown finance.
💫 The Starstruck Highlights:
• Vader’s saber auctioned for $3.6M, lights, camera, bankruptcy.
• Buyers investing in heavy breathing + unresolved trauma.
• Hollywood turns nostalgia into luxury asset class.
• “This is the way” = Silicon Valley flex anthem.
• If saber sales boom, my middle school diary is next on Sotheby’s.
Stay fabulous, my darlings, real queens don’t need sabers to slay, just contour and confidence.
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